Family members of aging adults typically travel one of two paths to becoming a caregiver: the sudden sprint, or the gradual march. The sudden sprint towards providing care for a loved one is often set off by an unexpected event – a stroke, a fall, complications from surgery – which acts as a catalyst, escalating your family member’s care needs practically overnight.
The gradual march towards caregiving is less abrupt. You can’t say exactly when it began, but you’ve started noticing little changes in how your family member interacts with the world around them. Perhaps they’re getting lost while driving to the grocery store, or they are having trouble keeping track of their medications, or balancing their checkbook – tasks they’ve performed countless times over the years, without any problems.
Whether the change is sudden or gradual, there are certain signs you can look for that indicate when your loved one is having trouble attending to their own needs.
If your family member is consistently exhibiting the kinds of actions and behaviors outlined below, they may soon be in need of extra care.
Identifying the presence of these indicators early on will enable you, your aging loved one and the rest of your family to come up with a plan to make sure everyone’s needs are met.
Common Signs Your Loved One May Need Extra Help
Physical
• Fluctuating weight
• Balance problems
• Poor hygiene
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Unexplained burns or bruises
Home environment
• Unkempt yard
• Unusual carpet stains
• Excessive clutter (newspapers, piles of junk mail)
• Unusual odors (urine, garbage)
• Not enough food in the house
• Failure to turn off stove or water after use
Emotional
• Mood swings
• Abusive behavior;
outbursts
• Lack of motivation
• Uncharacteristically anti-social behavior
Cognitive
• Confusion
• Memory loss
• Repetition
• Hallucinations
Other
• Dents/scratches on the car
• Unfilled or untaken prescriptions
• Unpaid bills
Getting a Loved One to Agree to Home Care
As a family caregiver, your responsibility will be to make sure your loved one is safe, healthy and getting the care they need.
Many individuals express the desire to remain in their own home as they age, a wish that can be granted with the help of professional in-home care. But selling a senior on the idea that letting an outside caregiver – who is probably a stranger – into their home is hard.
Here are 5 strategies to make this conversation a bit easier for everyone involved:
1. Put yourself in their shoes: Aging adults often feel as though they are gradually losing control over their own life. With their freedom and independence seemingly hanging in the balance, a senior can start to feel hostile and resentful towards the well-meaning family members who are trying to help them. Be mindful of these feelings and try to approach the discussion of hiring an outside caregiver with sensitivity and empathy.
2. Choose the setting carefully: Plan out in advance where you want the conversation to be held. Pick an area that is quiet and has few distractions (television, radio, too many people). Make sure you’re facing your loved one at all times when talking.
3. Speak calmly and clearly: Avoid raising your voice or shouting during a conversation; an argument can quickly escalate if either party starts acting flustered. When speaking to an older adult with hearing issues, keep your voice low and make sure to properly annunciate. This will ensure your loved one is literally hearing what you’re saying.
4. Don’t patronize: No one likes being talked down to, especially if they’ve been living decades longer than the person they’re conversing with. Even if you’re talking to someone with Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia, don’t infantilize them by employing the same manner and tone that you would use when speaking to a child.
5. Listen to what they are saying: Make sure you’re really listening to what your loved one is saying. Try not to interrupt or fill the silence during a conversation. When it’s your turn to speak, summarize what you think your loved one has just said and then ask them for clarification, if necessary.
For an older adult, acknowledging that they are no longer capable of being completely autonomous will be difficult and full acceptance of this fact isn’t likely to happen overnight. It’s important to allow your loved one the time and space they need to come to terms with how their situation is changing. Once they do, it will be easier to persuade them to accept assistance from a professional caregiver.
Assisting Hands Home Care Richmond provides professional non-medical home health care services allowing our clients to remain safely and comfortably in their own homes. Call us at (804) 500-9787.
